So any of you dolly couturiers already working on the Gene-sized version of Marisa Tomei's gown? Yeah, you let me know how that goes.
I was a little disappointed that there were no Cher/Bjork style moments of wackitude. Even Tilda Swinton just looked frumpy and she can usually be counted on to bring the crazy.
The only standout was Phillip Seymore Hoffman and all he did was choose to accessorise his black tux, black shirt, and black tie with a--wait for it--black ninja hood. Not pulled totally over his face, though. He's not a complete nutter.
I had some hope for Heidi Klum's gown for a few seconds. But what first appeared to be one of her childrens' origami art class projects turned out to simply be slightly uncomfortable couture.
Oh, look, Beyonce chose a curve-hugging mermaid gown. Quelle surprise. Taraji Henson was lovely, if a little bit "Bride of the Mummy". Jessica Biele was running late so just wrapped herself in one of her satin bedsheets (and could someone pass the girl a hairbrush?). Viola Davis' gown rocked!
I love love love the frothy, floaty ball gowns like the ones on Sarah Jessica Parker, Penelope Cruz, and Marion Cotillard. Where else but the Oscars can a girl legitimately wear 72 yards of tulle?
But my absolute favorite fashion of the night was the Zuhair Murad petal gown worn by Miley Cyrus. Yeah, I know! Check my pockets for bubble gum. But seriously, it was lovely. Of course, it was just as lovely in 1949 when Dior originally debuted it as Junon. Ah, but Junon was strapless, you say? That makes Murad's gown an homage and not a rip-off, you say? Riiiight.
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