Eventful week

Well, not so much Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday. But on Thursday I had my interview at MANU and did pretty darn good, if I do say so myself. I was on time, I was tidy, and I wasn't on the edge of a coronary just from the walk from the parking lot. I even had time to stop at the drug store for new face powder and hair spray so I wasn't shiny or frizzy from the heat! And that, dear non-existent readers, is as good as it gets.

I met with the HR manager for a while and learned that she had worked at St Luke's with the serpent queen before that one was brought to OMC to open the Hellmouth. Oops! Glad she mentioned that before I had to tell her why I wasn't there anymore. I edited my standard response so as to remove any possible trace of unpleasantness or hint that the serpent queen acted with anything less than integrity. I was pretty nervous for a few moments though, and had to resist the impulse to touch my nose to make sure it wasn't actually growing.

I answered some standard interview questions ("What would you say is your worst quality?" Gosh, you mean besides being a workaholic? Probably fanatic loyalty to my employer.) Then upstairs--and I do meant up the stairs, as there was no elevator--to meet the director and office manager of the department doing the hiring. That interview was fun; they were both awfully nice and easy to talk to. I got to tell them about my brilliant work on the P&P project, my skillful juggling of patients, visitors, doctors, and department heads, and my unshakable calm when dealing with whack jobs and bomb threats. I learned that the job would be acting as admin to a couple of guys called "development managers"--they spend most of their time out visiting with alumni or anyone else who might have a little money to donate to the university. And I'd be in charge of the database that tracks the gifts, donors, and all the related info. Heavens! I managed to point out a couple of times how perfectly my experience and skills matched their needs.

Then before I left they took me around the office to meet the rest of the staff. I was a little taken aback when a several people said "welcome to the office" and "nice to have you aboard"! Wow, they're assuming I'm hired?! Maybe being introduced was some sort of signal to everyone that I was the one getting the job? I didn't correct anyone, I didn't want to jinx it.

Ooooh, I hopehopehope I get this job. The campus is gorgeous, the people are nice, I can do this job asleep and standing on my head. And we wouldn't have to buy another car, the grumpy dwarf has already said he'd give me a ride to and from. I've got all my fingers and toes crossed. I'd even pray about it, if I was still able to pray.

Moving along to Friday, Himself ran a game tonight where Ilona the Bard covered herself in glory. See, what happened last week when I couldn't be there was this: Roselle used the hotline-to-the-spirit-world-amulet we liberated from the leader of the zombie cult--he wasn't going to need it, being minus a head--and made contact with the Sidhe, who were very interested in learning the whereabouts of the Spider Clan Drow. They promised to give her a hand rescuing us. That turned out to be a little native boy who looked about twelve years old, but was really some unfathomable form of Aenir, like Tom Bombadil only shorter and black. He helped the men shapeshift so they have at least a reasonable chance to make their way into the Drow demesne. Draigon, Po, and Wu Yi took the shape of orcs (Draigon was near to having flashbacks) but the little boy couldn't turn Glindor into an orc, even magically. So Glindor became a Drow; however, since male Drow have no power, status, or authority, he had to become a female Drow. Yes, he spent the last two games in the ultimate drag, bosums and all!

Oh, and at a pre-arranged signal from Glindor the little fae boy started beating on his little fae drum. A little fae drum that caused earthquakes! Not a North-Ridge-type quake, more like long, never-ending series of tremors.

So, during the commotion caused by the quake our heros get into the Drow's underground palace where Wu Yi peels off with an arcanist he mind-controlled to summon us some getaway transportation. Glindor talks his way down into the dungeons but that’s as far as he could get. Orcs aren't allowed into the inner reaches of the palace so Draigon and Po are waved back and have to cool their heels in a corridor a few turns from the dungeons. And that's where it ended last week.

So for me, the game tonight started with the earthquake. Ooh, says I, this could be useful. Confusion is always a good environment for an escape. I had been trying like crazy to get loose for days, but honest to pete the Drow must have had an 8th level locksmith at least. I had only managed to hang on to one of the dozen skeleton keys I have hidden on me--after the first three the stinkin' Drow made a game of finding the rest--but even so I should have been able to get the locks open, or even slither out using escape artist. Up until now all I could do was sit there and hope my thumping lies about being the Drow King’s hunnybunny paid off.

So now I was desperate enough to rub my wrists raw on the manacles hoping to use the blood to make my hands slippery enough to pull free, but as soon as I started making any progress a couple of guards came in to take up the slack in the chains so that I was totally immobile. This was irritating. Did they have my cell scryed 24-7? Finally I figured it out: Spider Clan! Yep, the corners of the cell were full of cobwebs. Every rotten spider in the place must be a spy for the Drow.

But never one to miss an opportunity, I start in on the guards about how my beloved King was coming for me, the earth was trembling from his wrath. They should release me, I said, and when the Drow King came they would be remembered and rewarded. By now the earthquake had lasted several minutes, giving a certain ring of truth to my words. Neither guard spoke, but as they left I saw one nod to me just ever so slightly.

There’s more commotion in the hallway and the door opens again. The Captain of the Guards, and four men-at-arms enter along with another woman. I start in again on how the Drow King was coming, yada yada, yada. The woman gets right up in my face and shouts at me “So you think your friends are coming to get you? You think Glindor is coming this very day to rescue you?” And then she winks at me!

WTF?! Like I didn’t have enough to deal with, now some sapphic Drow chic is putting the moves on me. Pervy cow probably won’t even take my manacles off. Then it hits me: Draigon can make the earth shake, can’t he? With a big enough earth elemental he probably could. And Wu Yi can mind-control Drow to wink most uncharacteristically. This is a break-out!

But the guys don’t know what I’ve been telling the Drow all week. Now it’s my turn to try to get them in the know without blowing their cover.

“Not Glindor” I say, “I gave him direct orders to flee, to get word of our capture to my love, the King.” Now the Drow chic is looking a little confused. I tried to think of the most obvious clues I could without actually yelling out Curifin's name. “My beloved, the reborn King of all the Drow, will come for me and the sight of his black armor will freeze your courage, and your blood will fall off his mighty black sword like ashes from a cold fire.”

Okay, I didn’t say it exactly like that. But she got the picture anyway. “Guards, this prisoner must come with me. And gather the others. We must move them all to a more secure place.”

They refused. Crap! Wu Yi grabbed a Drow with enough sand to get down here and question the prisoners, but not enough to get us out of our cells. Crapcrapcrap!

Frustrated, she stomped out the door. “I’ll be back for you!” she snarled. Great. All I can do now is hang there and wait for something else to happen.

The Drow chic had been going down the whole line of cells, and the next after me was Bybars. He also figured out what was going on, and pretended to stumble in his chains while she was right up in his face. He fell against her, and before the guards pulled him off he was picking her pockets hoping to find a key. What he found were Draigon’s pocket bombs. He grabbed two of them and threw them both at the feet of the Captain, then he swept his arms up and over the two nearest guards, entangling them in his chains.

I kind of lost track of the scrum there because ninjakitty came down and needed to talk to me about something. When I turned back to the table the action had moved out into the hallway. Bybars was holding the unconscious Captain in front of him as a shield and had a dagger held point-first in her mouth since that was the only unarmored spot he could find. Man, I love that mad Berber!

At that moment the guard that I had recruited slips back into my cell and sets me free. We sneak along the corridor, following the Drow woman and men at arms. It wasn’t hard to go unnoticed, their attention was on Bybars. Plus, the earth is still shaking this whole time. We set everyone free and were even able to recover all our gear. The moment Yamamitsu’s sword was back in his hand I began to think we might actually get away with this.

Until the entire Drow clan came pouring down every corridor at us. Seriously, there were hundreds of them. Bybars still had his hostage but we knew any minute someone was going show up that had the authority to tell the men at arms to just shoot through her. And just about then was when the queen and her guard showed up. Okay, so fighting our way out is no longer an option. Now we get to see if all those years of pouring experience points into acting and oratory can pay off.

I step to the front and address the queen directly. “The time has come,” I say. “The Reborn King approaches and even the stones tremble at his wrath. Feel the truth of what I say in the very earth beneath your feet.” The earth very obligingly shudders at that point. To make sure I keep everyone’s attention I produce a flame in my right hand that flares into an image of Curifin in the spooky armor, black sword drawn. There’s the sound of hundreds of Drow drawing breath in the same instant. They recognize that figure, all right.

“My beloved has come for me. Let us pass, or he will bring your kingdom down around your ears.” But the queen isn’t having any of it, she says if I’m so beloved then I’m a valuable hostage. The Reborn King can’t destroy her without killing me as well. I counter by telling her that my love knows I would be rather be dead at his hand than be her prisoner and shut away forever from the touch of the sun. Then I try a different tack. I tell her that as a mere Sylvan elf, I can never be a suitable queen for the Reborn King of all the Drow. His heart will always be mine, but maybe she could be the one who rules at his side. She says I don’t understand what he is, possibly even he doesn’t understand fully yet. But when Imrahil Anduras fully comes into his own there will be no other in his heart or by his side except the Black Star Queen.

That hurt to hear, even though I knew I would never be anything to Curifin but another face in the crowd. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention something; the reason I was able to tell this great whopping lie so convincingly that even the Drow mentalists believed me was because of the kernel of truth at the very core. Ilona does love Curifin, desperately, passionately, hopelessly. I’ve never spoken a word of this to anyone, not even poor Ilondar. So when the Drow looked into my mind I let them see the vast depth of that love and the force of it swept the rest of my fairy tale along with it.

I had one last card to play, though. I tell the queen that none the less, at this moment I am the Reborn King’s beloved, and the might of his anger will be her doom. She has dared to do violence to the one he loves, her life and her kingdom are forfeit. But I can offer her one hope. If she turns aside now and lets us pass I will speak for her and try to stay his wrath for a time. No more than one year can I promise. But where there is life there is hope, and in that year she can move her people to some other far off place where they can remain hidden for years. She has to chose, I said, either run and gain time to prepare for the battle to come or face the Reborn King this very day and know it will be her last in this world.

That got to her at last and she offered one final deal. She would let everyone go free except me. The others were to go to the King and tell him what I offered. If he accepted the bargain the signal would be that the earth would stop trembling. As soon as the earthquakes stopped I would be released. Well hell, yes! I didn’t know about the little boy with the drum, I figured the earthquakes would stop as soon as Draigon wanted them to.

I had the rest of the party bundled off on Shantaks before any of them could get sticky about leaving me behind. There was a tense couple of hours before they could get back to the little boy and ask him to stop, but eventually he did and the Drow queen was true to her word. I stepped out of the Drow hole a free woman, and Wu Yi was there with his arcanist meat puppet and a Shantak to swoop me up and away. I was never so happy to see a huge, scaly, slimy Cthulhu monster in all my life.

There's just one little loose end to tie up. Since I spoke Quenya to the Drow the only other person in the party who understood all of what I was saying is Glindor. I'll tell the others that I bargained our way out by threatening the Drow with the "Reborn King" aka Curifin, but won't say anything about convincing the queen I was Curifin's significant other. I just have to get Glindor aside and explain that if he never breathes a word of that to anyone--especially Curifin--then I won't have to write a song about him carrying out the whole rescue in drag.

It was fabulous that we all made it out alive of course, but the most gratifying part was how the guys congratulated me after the game. The mad scot even said he’d never seen me do anything like that before. Pfft, I do that sort of stuff all the time, just not in the game. It’s too hard to get a word in edgewise with those guys. I do my best gaming away from the table, which is what makes it so great being married to the game master. If those guys knew half of what Tansy has going on they’d be totally gobsmacked.

Anyway, the most awesome part? On the way home Himself said I did very, very good. I live for moments like that!