I hate job interviews

I don't know what to say about the interview today. I had to park farther away than I thought I would--all the crip slots were full. So I had to walk nearly a block and by the time I got there I was 10 minutes late, hot, sweaty, red-faced, and out of breath. Even my hair was frazzled. Then there's just my overall bulk, which just has to put people off. I can't believe I made a good first impression.

On the other hand, I'm honestly a wizard at what I do and I believe I made that clear. I particularly nailed their question on what how I would go about setting up a meeting involving multiple commissioners, contractors, and citizens. After all those years of pulling together meetings with execs and med staff, I'm good at juggling egos and calendars, schmoozing the right meeting place, and coaxing the necessary AV from the technical people. I even remembered to mention preparing maps and driving directions to the meeting place. Plus, I had a chance to tell about the P&P project at OMC and emphasized my hand in that. I honestly don't think they'll find someone with skills more well-suited for this job.

I learned that they have two slots for admins and both are empty right now--they have one temp filling in but basically they're pulling their hair out making due. And Himself tells me the positions have been open for a while now. Are they just so picky that no one who has interviewed has been acceptable, or are most people smart enough not to even apply for the job? So do I assume that they won't want a a tubby like me being the up-front face of the County Commissioners or hope that they're so desperate that my skills outshine my fat?

And I need to consider Himself's fear that the job is so high-pressure that I wouldn't be happy there, anyway. Not only do I not know if I have a shot, I don't know if I should even want a shot.

All things considered, I took my cue from Elizabeth Taylor when Walter Wanger offered her the role of Cleopatra. I set my salary requirements so high, that if they're willing to offer me that much I'd be nuts to turn it down. Bonus: if I don't get a call back I can tell myself it's because I asked for too much money.

It would be delicious, though, if I do get the job, to call the ladies I left behind ASAP and let them tell the serpent queen about my new position. Not good enough to be her secretary, eh? Funny, the Board of County Commissioners, the highest office in the county government, thinks I'm good enough to be their secretary. Give her a fork, ladies and gentlemen, she's been served! And specially sweet knowing that her hand-picked assistant imported from St Luke's is soooo not working out and all is not sunshine and roses at the Hellmouth.

Yes, I am that petty.